The Queen Must Die

By , June 6, 2016

The homestead really quieted down squirrel-wise after the power struggles earlier in the year, as a new dominant female claimed our territory as her own (see Anarchy in Squirrel Land). I hadn’t seen the squirrel at all for weeks, so Michelle surprised me one day when she calmly mentioned that I should kill it.

She judged our squirrel to be pregnant, and wanted to avoid a new brood of squirrels raiding the strawberry patch later in the summer (see Mess With Our Strawberries, and I’ll Go “Farmer McGregor” on Your Ass!).

I questioned the wisdom of such a move. Obviously, our current squirrel is well mannered, unobtrusive, not particularly destructive. If she does give birth, she’d likely run her brood off the property after they reached the proper age. Things would get interesting for a while, then quiet down again, wouldn’t they?

Then, we caught her in the act.

Michelle called me to the window, and pointed out one of our hummingbird feeders, where our squirrel drank long and greedily of the sugar water.

Red squirrel, caught red handed at the hummingbird feeder (Photo: Mark A. Zeiger).

Red squirrel, caught red handed at the hummingbird feeder (Photo: Mark A. Zeiger).

It appears she has a sweet tooth! That means she’s likely to raid the strawberry patch. We can’t have that.

So, I loaded the pellet guns, the blow gun is handy, and I’m watching for my opportunity. At least I don’t have to consider putting out bait to attract her . . . .

2 Responses to “The Queen Must Die”

  1. Jon Marshall says:


    Happy Hunting. Are you going to make squirrel soup?

    My little girl would raid your strawberry patch. She loves them. We go through 3 to 4 containers a week.

    Good Day from Utah,


  2. Mark Zeiger says:

    Hi Jon, probably not. Red squirrels are apparently the smallest squirrel in North America, so one would hardly be worth the trouble. We put them out on the rocks for the ravens to pick up. They remember they like the taste, and start hunting squirrels themselves. Very efficient!

    Your little girl would be welcome in our strawberry patch! We just resent the squirrels taking random bites out of green berries before we get a chance.

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